Would you ever nurse someone else’s baby? What if the life of that child rested on your decision? Maria Kristensen, a 25-year-old mom-to-be from Denmark was faced with this decision recently when she, her husband and three-year-old son Lucas were on their way to the airport in Turkey.
When Maria and her family set out that day, they probably had very few thoughts on their minds other than returning to their Denmark home safely. But as their taxi cab drove down the street, something stood out that they just couldn’t ignore.
“We sat in a taxi when we looked out on something [to the] right,” Maria said. “There was a pink little bundle up in a bag right outside of the road where the sun only shone down. She lay and baked.”
The family asked the cab driver to turn around so they could investigate the bundle further.
“We were very nervous to go out of the car,” Maria recalled. “Was the life of the child? It was over 40 degrees [Celsius], and the bundle lying in the sun.”
Yet despite their fear, the couple approached the little bundle lying in the street. When they reached it, they found a very small newborn girl. Her head was still bloody and the umbilical cord looked as though it had just recently been cut. Maria, a social worker by profession, believes that the little girl had to be only about a day old.
“The mother had packed her into pink clothes and put a blanket around her,” Maria said. “She was really hot, so I hurried to get her in the car and asked the driver to [turn] on the air conditioner. But there was no life in her.”
Maria’s husband Kent brought some cold water and tried to cool the baby down that way, but she still wasn’t responding. Suddenly, Maria had an idea. At 31 weeks pregnant, she was already lactating. After asking the cab driver if she could nurse the infant (due to cultural rules against nursing in public), Maria attempted to nurse the little girl.
“It took a while, but after a while, the little girl began to drink,” Maria said. “After she got into the industry, she revived. There was life in her eyes. She looked around and we thought ‘in the world.’ She was still bloody, and paper [was] on the umbilical cord. It’s probably a mother who has been powerless and did their best.”
For some, the idea of nursing someone else’s child may seem strange, but Maria says it felt completely natural to her. What was difficult for her was when the little girl had to be taken into child protective custody.
“In fact, I took it pretty well until I had to give her away,” Maria said. “It did not feel good at all to give her away. She woke up and looked the more [in] my eyes, and now I have gray ago.”
The little girl will be adopted out and has been named Ceren. Maria has been able to talk to the authorities about little Ceren’s progress and has been told that she can come by and visit at any time.
At first, it may not have occurred to Maria that she saved the little girl’s life. But now home in Denmark, she’s started to realize just how vital her ability to nurse may have been in keeping Ceren alive.
We often forget just how our decisions can impact the life around us. I’m completely amazed at how quickly and lovingly Maria reacted towards a child that needed her, despite the fact that the child had been born to another woman from another country. Hopefully, this little girl finds a permanent home that can give her just that kind of love – thoughtful, instinctive and loving beyond condition.
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Ali – it takes a LOT of nursing to start contractions. See: http://codenamemama.com/2011/09/07/bfing-pg-concerns-safety/
Also, assuming you have access to a NICU with proper equipment, “Babies born at around 31 weeks or more have about a 95% chance of survival.” (source: http://www.birth.com.au/Premature-baby/Survival-of-preterm-babies-gestation.aspx?p=2)
Lisa – thanks for sharing that link!
Sorry for the confusion in the breastfeeding cultural norms. The article was pulled from a very difficult to decipher translation. It seems that there are no cultural issues with breastfeeding in Turkey, but that maybe the woman was afraid of any issues that might have arisen from her nursing the child in a public place because the statement was made based on a specific quote from the article.
I also agree with the adoption part, for all that have wondered why she didn’t just adopt the baby. There could be numerous reasons…issues with the baby being born and found in another country, expecting a newborn very soon, who knows. But I agree. It would have broken my heart to leave that beautiful little girl behind. I just hope she finds a wonderful, loving forever family soon!
It’s not as simple as just saying, I want to adopt the baby. Especially as a foreigner in a country she was just visiting. There are laws, home studies, processes to follow to ensure a child’s safety when being adopted. Likely there are many families who have already been processed and live in Turkey who are waiting to adopt.
This woman did such an amazing thing. I’m so thankful she happened along and followed her gut to see what the bundle was. I hope Caren grows up to know how previous she was to a complete stranger. What could have been a tragedy turned into a miracle.
That is truly a beautiful story. Any woman that knows the love of being a mother would hopefully do the same. I know if it were me, even though I’m well passed being able to have children, I would have rescued that baby, and done everything in my power to revive and save her little life. God Bless Maria and her husband, for having the curiousity to turn around and check on what that little bundle was.
Too many people would have just kept going and wondered, without actually doing anything.
MARIA AND HER FAMILY DID NOT FIND THE BABY GIRL BY ACCIDENT, THE LORD SEND THEM IN HER DIRECTION THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A beautiful story of a mother’s instinct and compassion. Marred only by the high and mighty web mums on here commenting about how THEY would have done it better! This woman performed marvellous act whilst being intelligent enough to be aware of cultural issues with exposure of her body. Also it is not a situation of “Finders Keepers” towards this baby and to rip her away from her mother country and culture to forcibly adopt her. This woman is intelligent, caring and respectful so don’t disrespect this story with your holier than thou attitudes. Just give thanks that the baby is doing well .
I want to nurse just about every crying baby I come across, and I haven’t breastfed any baby in over a year and a half, lol. It’s just instinct to want to put a crying baby to your breast, even if you’re not a nursing mom!
@Amnesty – I completely agree. I nursed my son for three years and it just became such a big part of my life that I believe I should feed the world. And I have a friend that turns to me when we hearing a crying baby and says, ‘no, you can’t offer to feed them!’. Knowing that you have such a precious renewable resource is really empowering.
I followed the story, based in Denmark as I am, and a mother of two small ones myself. Glad to see, that Maria and Ceren’s story reached other parts of the world, because it’ s such a wonderful, positive story!
I read in the papers, that when Maria returned to Denmark, she went to her own doctor cause she became anxious if the nursing could result in premature labour but everything is fine 🙂
To those of you questioning, why she doesn’t just adopt little Ceren: are you maybe being a little unfair? They have a 3 year old, and she’s about to give birth to a second child… And we don’t know anything else about their situation, so I think let’s just give praise for what she’s done already 🙂
A lovely day to you all.
Thank you for the update Kim!
Such a little precious baby, looks just like my second one. I am of Turkish origin and a Muslim myself and breastfeeding is something that is strongly encouraged in Islam (to breastfeed until the child is two years old). It is actually such a ‘big deal’ that if you nurse a baby five times to fill her tummy, you are to be called a ‘mother’ to her as well and will be treated in the eyes of Islam as her mother what it comes to family relations.
Also life always goes over any rule in Islam, I am sure it is the same in Turkish culture.
I wouldn’t have given her up! An infant in social services, how sad 🙁 That little thing needs a family and love right away! I absolutely would have kept her.
My sister and I have discussed nursing other children, and both of us agree–if it were a life and death situation, we would nurse someone else’s child in a heartbeat. We both know that it’s just modern culture that makes us feel strange about this practice. Beautiful story, but my heart breaks thinking of Ceren at an orphanage.
It goes to show us all that love and compassion crosses all boundries, cultures and diversities.
Beautiful story! What a wonderful, selfless act of love and compassion! I admit I shed a tear or two as I read it while nursing my own sweet baby. I would love to think that if presented with a similar situation I would have the quick wit to respond similarly. She is a true hero. :-))
Amazing, God bless this mother. I hope that baby found a loving home, what a scary and sad start
What a beautiful story! I love that Maria acted without much thinking. Just her Instinct! That’s truly a passion full human! Thank you!
Wow, thank god for this little girl and thank god Maria found her in-time and acted upon her instincts. I would nurse another in a heartbeat if I had too or asked too. I can not bare the thought of women leaving newborns to die, makes me sick to my stomach and I always cry when I hear of this happening no matter where in the world it is, they are soooooo innocent and precious! May god bless maria, her family and that little baby girl!
That is a beautiful story :,)
I had a friend in 1978 who had traved across country from california to virginia without money to buy much food and did not have anything to drink for 3 days when she arrived her baby would not stop screaming I told her she is not getting any milk…you have none you have not gotten any food or water and your milk is gone….she and her husband were sure I was wrong….I had plenty our babies were born the same month…so I asked if I could nurse hers…I was a little nervous because my baby was a big eater but I went ahead and nursed hers on one side and in about 15 minutes the baby was fast asleep and my dear friend cried realizing the baby had indeed been hungry….the Dad was angry at himself and her and did not like me nursing their baby !!! go figure.. he went out and got formula…..I was sad…I felt they gave up on nursing…I felt responsible….I am older wiser and know better now….water was free he should have gotten off atr every stop and gotten all the water at least that he could have for the mother….yes i would nurse any baby….no baby /child can have too many people to love them…..that goes for all of us doesn’t it?
you did the right thing kinda crazy for the dad to get mad, nursing is natural its not like you did it for sexual gratification. and your friend being the mother gave you permission. and your right water is free and im sure the owner of any gas station would not have minded giving a Styrofoam cup for free that she could keep filled with water.
Good job, Maria and Kent.
What country was the baby found in? This story was published a year ago, is there any more information?
What a wonderful story. I would do the same in an instant.
What an amazing gift she gave that little girl.
You can’t just keep her because you found her! She isn’t a stray animal…
If I was in the same situation as much as it would pain me I couldn’t take on another child, financially or physically. Think before you judge.
I have nursed a child other than my own. We were at a party and our friend brought his 9 month old and “forgot” her bottles. I was already nursing my own child and Believe me I had plenty to share….It was kind of the same as cooking a meal for company…I didn’t think twice..Everybody has to eat !! I do, however, wonder about that child and have thought of her over the years. I think it does give you a special bond. She would be 31 by now.